


Our Indulgence

by ActualHurry



Series: Our Epilogue [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Fantasizing, Fray POV, M/M, Other, Pining, Spoilers for level 80 Dark Knight quest, mindbond, post shadowbringers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-29 05:50:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19823839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ActualHurry/pseuds/ActualHurry
Summary: In the afterglow of a stolen moment with Granson, Fray wonders.





	Our Indulgence

**Author's Note:**

> How do I explain how this came about...? I don't think I can. I have a lot of feelings. I like Granson, though as Fray says in this, he is...a fledgling. The WoL holds a lot more experience as a DRK than he does. That and the level 80 completed DRK quest journal entry broke me. So, somehow I ended up here. On the note of the [Jealousy] tag, I'm not sure I can assuage any fears. Feelings are feelings, come what may. I've felt the DRK questline is about self-love and acceptance of emotions, good/bad/ugly, for quite a while now, so I hope that is reflected here. This is also an exercise in writing Fray, so please be gentle if the voice is off :D
> 
> Pronouns for WoL withheld so you may adopt them as you please. I may write some involving my own WoL OC eventually, but for this, you may insert your own if that's your desire. :) Sorry for this weird mess of feeeeeelings.

There’s a warm body sleeping in the bed next to you, completely spent from a celebratory night. There’s a warm glow cast about the room from the nearby lamp, the stars in the dark sky twinkling from the window. And most importantly, there is a warm whisper in your ears as your eyes shut and the world fades to the comfortable black shroud of rest.

You don’t feel the passing of moments. You don’t even feel the man next to you roll over in his sleep to put an arm over yours, to hook himself to you as if he is both the lifesaver and the saved. It’s achingly sweet, isn’t it? I’m sure you’d agree, if only you were awake. Perhaps I’ll send a passing recollection to you later and jog some half-conscious memory, of his body pressed to your back, cradling your form – the _formidable_ form that it is.

Oh, don’t grimace. I _am_ inside of you, or have you forgotten? Ha. The teasing would have you laugh, no matter the flush that may overtake your skin. I would like to see that. It’s nary any different than you teasing Sid now. Please, I witnessed his flailing hands and nervous reply. Your ‘heart’s desire’, was it? Cute. 

But… 

I can remember a time long passed when I would tease Sid. Always a measure of truth to any scathing remark, right? He would become flustered just as you flustered him only nights ago. His wild hair would seem to stand on end just as an agitated cat’s. He has claws to match, I promise you that.

He desires you, too. He’d be a fool not to. I clutched him jealously in life, like I clutch you jealously in death. That isn’t to say I don't want him still…I crave his heat, his touch, his won-over exasperation. You could have that, if you wanted it.

(I know you do. Why don’t you take it?)

It would do me a favor, at that. Your time is my time now. I can’t reach across this void of an existence and catch his eye any more than I can feel the texture of his scales beneath my hands…hands I lack. Use yours, instead. Your curiosity is like embers being blown to life every time you seek Sidurgu out again, you know…

Like I said. Always a measure of truth.

Yet instead of someone familiar, you hunt out this novel one from another world. A grand adventure you’ve had, yet another notch in your belt, hm? Poor sod. Lost his love, stepped on the path…it’s not unheard of – all too frequent a tale, actually – but hell, what a mess he was. Is. You’ve only quelled it with your presence. He’s found some measure of peace, aye, for the moment. He’s got a long way to go before he’s whole. 

Ha, a Dark Knight – whole… 

Together, we’re whole. Without you…I’m nothing. Without me, you’re somehow still everything. Tell me how that works sometime. Tell me anything.

Granson touched you like he was afraid to break you. You never corrected him! We know damn well that of the two of you, _he_ should have been the one feeling a light touch. The acts you have committed. The sights your eyes have seen. The blood your fingers have wiped away. He doesn’t even know the half of it, but you only smirked as he stayed so infuriatingly _gentle_ – 

What could _I_ make you feel? Would you still be so smug? I know this body well as you do. Think about it. I’ve wanted you since I felt your aether, since I felt _you_. But these are old confessions, already known to you. With my spirit given your anger, your loneliness, it was difficult to be anything but forthright. Excuse my bluntness, but I have never minced my words.

If I could have met you a day sooner…to have hands of mine own that could show you the brighter side of begging.

Will you stay with the sinner? Yet, too, won’t you stay with me? We’re two, you and I – I don’t _share_ well, but I’d make an exception for Sidurgu. He was mine first like you were mine first. You and I and he, what a _reckoning_ that would be. Perhaps the world is better off without such a trio…though it may be more of a duo in the end.

I could show you how to touch Sid. We could have him rise and fall with us, through his breaths, through his motions. It would be leagues better than a soft man who doesn’t know what to do with his mouth, I swear on my soul. How he’s stayed so tender with a scar like his, I’ll never know. I don’t care to find out.

You’re fond of the Granson, that much is apparent. You wouldn’t have brought him to bed otherwise. Yet I _feel_ what radiates from you when I am brought about. I see the shine of your teeth in every biting grin when Sid speaks. What is one fledgling sufferer to two as experienced as us, who know you both inside and out?

Forgive the jealousy, the wistfulness, the want. There are yet parts of me that aren’t _you_ , remember. I can’t help myself when sweeping, consuming emotion is all that remains of me. Mayhap consider what _that_ would bring to the table the next time you find yourself alone and tempted.

(Besides the fact that you are never truly alone. You need only ask it of me. I’m not one to plead, but for you…)

The stars are dim, now. The sun’s rising. 

Ah, there you are. You sleep like the dead. 

Anyway…I hope you think all this over, as it slips to your waking thoughts unbidden. I won’t drag you away if you’ve truly set your heart on this tortured soul rather than mine and mine own, but who can tell the depth of your resolve as I do? Who loves you unconditionally as I love you? Who else _can_ , when I can feel each and every beat of your heart as if it belonged to me? I could trace your every wound, those healed and those still bleeding, without a second thought. Terrifying. Treacherous.

Go back to sleep, hero. Shut the world out for a moment longer. You’ve earned the rest.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.


End file.
